Enchantment

I wish that I can break out of this shell and soar free like an eagle. I ask my heart why am I compelling myself to do things against my wishes. There are too many issues that I don't enjoy dwelling in, but I do so for the people around me, such as my parents.



I daydream of the day that I have the courage to do what I want and feel like doing. I wish I possess the courage to just fucking slam my books shut and fail the exams whenever I am in no mood for studying, fucking stride to the shopping mall when I badly itch to shop, fucking demand for a mall to be built next to my house if possible and fucking hope for a money tree to materialize right infront of me.



So many things that I yearn to do and am interested in doing before I die. I want to go overseas again but majority of the upcoming two weeks break will have to be dedicated to fucked up projects. I can't possibly be irresponsible in my duty towards my group members and just fucking enjoy my vacation far away from Singapore while they are slogging their asses off.


So you see, circumstances don't allow me to pursue what I want and the above is just one measly feeble example.



I hate to say this but Singapore isn't exactly a flexible country to live in.



I am not interested in accounts. I don't fucking want to be an accountant in future, it's just that I feel I have to. Sadly, I lack the resilience and courage to go after what I am truly passionate about.


I just don't have the guts, and how much I hate myself for it, you won't be able to even begin comprehending.